Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
