he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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