lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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