i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i've created a new STD.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
