Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
