we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
