this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
