She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
