My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
