oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
