That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
