There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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