yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
