worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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