Got a toothbrush?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
