How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
