she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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