was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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