he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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