We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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