3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
