He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
