bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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