Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
