so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wish life had little blips of pornography
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
