Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
