yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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