So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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