they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
