I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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