That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
