I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
