And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
