just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
