margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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