Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
