she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We have started to decorate penises.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
