she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
