Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
