Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
