I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
