party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
