Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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