Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
