so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
