Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
