haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
