he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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