Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
