when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
